31MoviesIn31Days: Movies 6-10

31 MOVIES IN 31 DAYS 

Can you believe I seem to have kept up with this? Me either, honestly, but I did. Well as far as you know. This week I continued by getting behind in my list immediately and then rushing to watch as many movies as possible in a 2 day period. Had I not told you that, you would have thought I was actually good at planning my life. Well I'm not but I love movies enough to cram em all in and write stuff.  Just like last time, rather than post a blurb/review for each film I am going to do these in sets of 5 or so. That will give you something lengthy to read each time and allow me the inevitable chore of getting behind.

#6 Terror (1978)

I happened to walk in on this movie already in progress on one of the many horror channels I follow and it didn't seem too far along to catch up so I watched it (and it counts OK! Don't tell me otherwise!!! :)) Well I may have been lost right away but seem to have gotten the gist of it, Mad Dolly was the main haunting force in this "could be mistaken for a Hammer film if you walked in at 10 PM after a couple of beers" starring John Nolan. There are some pretty brutal decapitation scenes. When I say "some" it was actually all the deaths I saw except for the final scene. The final scene was a bitchin', tear apart the mansion, smash every piece of mirror and glass around, witch has got a prophecy and don't get in the witch's way finale. 

One thing that is interesting to me that I am starting to notice more as I watch these films this month is the scores of the films. I used to be a guy that loved ALL horror movie scores, but lately I am finding that some of them are just downright annoying and the higher pitched the synth, the more it is starting to annoy me. Terror is no exception, the Ivor Slaney led score is pretty ear splitting at times and if you company that with smashing glass and some pretty hefty screams you will basically walk away with tinitis from this film. 

Overall, I would recommend the film but it's probably best to catch it for free as I did or maybe on one of those 10 movies for $5 DVDs.

#7 The Haunted House (1921)

Here is another entry into the "that doesn't really count, dude!" department. The Haunted House is actually a Buster Keaton short film from the vaults. I stumbled across a whole trove of Keaton's films and couldn't pass this one up.

In typical Buster Keaton fashion, he immediately finds himself in some sort of dilemma that only that dude could. The film starts off by showing Keaton as a bank teller that happens to some how have a pot of glue next to his teller window, as you can probably guess, the next few scenes that ensue consist of the glue getting all of everything from the money, the floor, his ass, the guy's ass next to him, everything. Then a couple of guys that were scheming to rob the bank show up. This is where I lost the film a little bit. Apparently the bank vault is on a timer lock but in order to open the vault all you have to do is climb the ladder and move the clock hand forward on the clock above the vault. Come on! I realize that I am literally over analyzing the plot lines to a Buster Keaton film but that's just dumb.

The film really hits a high point when Buster runs from the bank robbers and finds himself in The Haunted House which is complete with staircase that folds under while he's at the top of it. I laughed outloud at a lot of the gags. The climax of the film shows Keaton assuming he is getting into heaven and then tumbling all the way back down to hell. Awesome treat and with a run time of about 30 minutes, it was a no brainer!

#8 Children of The Corn (1984)

I am ashamed to say that I had never seen Children of the Corn and of course it's amazing. The wife joined me for this viewing and we fell in love with it immediately. We also both agreed that we thought we had seen it but were probably confusing it with Village of The Damned. The whole story kept me held close right away, and I enjoyed my first viewing of it. Isaac and Malachi are creepy as hell in their own right. We discussed briefly whether Isaac was played by a male of female and quickly learned that it was John Franklin (sorry dude, you kind of look like The Commander from Trekkies) 

The highlight of the movie for me was definately the cafe scene in which those little bastards terrorize all the adults and make sure not to turn away when the old man get his hand shoved in the meat slicer, that was great! Another great scene was the hit and run that is set up by the cult of kids, I am assuming, some great moments going in and out of Vicky's(Linda Hamilton) dream scenes. Linda Hamilton was a total fox in this movie and that's a statement I never thought I would say. Well done, Mr. King I give you kudos, even if I am 31 years late!

#9 C.H.U.D (1984)

I just HAD to relive the glory that is C.H.U.D (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers). This film is an A+ in my book ever since I saw it 10-15 years ago. Full disclosure: when I used to do trivia at bars I used the name "CHUD" and was known as CHUD around the Buffalo Wild Wings in my college town. Not many people are willing to admit to that kind of shit, but I will.

The story of this epic sludge fest is simple John Heard plays a photographer who seems to be obsessed with the lives of these underground homeless people. After noticing a great deal of the sewer people disappearing, George stumbles across a conspiracy theory about sewer monsters eating them. The fight scenes are what make the whole film. Stick around for when the C.H.U.D gets cut because what happens after that is like CHUD bukkake and it. is. glorious!!!! 

By the way, why were so many actors from C.H.U.D cast in Home Alone, did anyone ever notice that? This also leds me too why WEREN'T some more Home Alone actors cast in C.H.U.D. I would have loved to see Buzz devoured by a C.H.U.D. Great movie! I don't know why we aren't all watching it again right now! Go!

#10 The Raiders of Atlantis (1983)

"I predatori di Atlantide" (original title)

What the hell did I just watch? THE RAIDERS OF ATLANTIS is an obvious case of Italian filmakers trying to cash in on some American films that were popular at the time. Directed by Ruggero Deodato(he goes by Roger Franklin in the United States(great choice)) this film samples a little bit from the candy boxes of  RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, THE ROAD WARRIOR, THE WARRIORS and I am sure more.

The story goes like this, scientists discover a  Russian submarine near Miami, Florida (we know because it was announced like five times in 60 seconds), they discover an ancient Atlantean tablet on the bottom of the ocean and have another guy look into what it means. While raising the submarine a nuclear leak seems to somehow make the lost island of Atlantis begin to riase from the bottom of the ocean, as well. There is a massive tidal wave that strands everyone at sea. Along come some Vietnam vets who rescue everyone and take them to a nearby Carribean island where everyone is DEAD. That's when shit gets real. A crazy gang dressed like real assholes and led by Crystal Skull, are apparently descendants of Atlantis' original race who are out to kill everyone except for the female in the group. They need her for some reason, but I don't know if we ever find out why. She is eventually captured and brainwashed and then rescued and Atlantis is sent back to the bottom...where it belongs?!?! Yeah.

The fight scenes here really steal the show, along with some killer sound effects (think the Arnold Schwarzenegger school of acting), one of the Vietnam vets named Muhammad insisted on kissing his seemingly endless supply of molotov cocktails and cracked me up the whole way through. I guess I recommend watching this for the absurdity alone, it was pretty fantastic watching various people die by poisonous dart and one girl got and arrow through the mouth, that was classic. Not a bad Thursday night, if I must say so! Cheers until next week!