31Moviesin31Days: Movies 11-15

31 MOVIES IN 31 DAYS 

I feel the end of the month creeping up. I am running out days and need to trudge on, full steam aheead!!! Just like before, rather than post a blurb/review for each film I am going to do these in sets of 5 or so. That will give you something lengthy to read each time and allow me the inevitable chore of getting behind.

#11 Hellraiser(1987)

I started off my weekend in the most bright and sunny way possible, the original Hellraiser. Being a true head, I have, OF COURSE, seen Hellraiser but my wife had not and I knew she NEEEEEEDED to see it. Since I hadnt seen it in a few years I thought this to be the perfect arena to include it in. The classic holds up of course with all the goods, guts and glory that I remembered. I still got goosebumps when Pinhead uttered his famous line "JESUS WEPT". While this is not my favorite of the Hellraiser franchise(II and III hold far much more value and tons more Cenobite action) it is still the most memorable and the one that started it all. I don't need to recommend it because you are already ashamed of yourself if you haven't seen it, so we will just leave it there. Stay tuned later for another Hellraiser film, that one....uhhh. not. soooo. guuuuuud.

#12 Zombeavers(2014)

Holy moley, I had been wanting to watch Zombeavers ever since I heard about it and this movie did not disappoint. I love b-movie films that know what they are without going too stupid on it. Zombeavers is a great mixture of gore, comedy, suspense, and dumb. The story goes: three girls are trying to get away from their dumbfuck boyfriends at a cabin by the lake. They do so by stripping down and swimming in a filthy lake that we previously saw contaminated by a texting nuclear waste delivery man( yay! Bill Burr!!!) The tits come out and we have a party. Then the dumbfuck boyfriends show up, I have never wanted to see three dudes get chewed up by zombie beavers so bad in my life. Great actor portray;s on the actors parts. One kid that gets his leg chewed off, infuriated me just by looking at his dumb face. UGH! This was an interesting take on the nuclear aided monster flick and even included some excellent and humorous lines. We thought it was an interesting choice to have the "slutty character" not be the first to die. That's a change of pace and actually considering she may have been the best actress, probably necessary.

The high point on this film for me were the changeling scenes when a few of the characters start to morph into zombeavers themselves. AWESOME!!! I highly recommend this to the Sharknado crowd, way better bang for your buck and not nearly as annoying. "Filthy, hairy beavers..." Smyth (Rex Linn) is one of the best characters in the film. So many classic lines from that dude!

#13 Monster Squad(1987)

Fred Dekker director of Night of the Creeps gives us another great showing with The Monster Squad. This film is family fun, pretty entertaining too but it's not so cheesy that an adult wouldn't be able to enjoy on their own. I prefer Night Creeps myself but, this is still a great movie that has a memorable cast and unique story including my faves, the Universal Monsters. I would compare this to The Goonies with more horror elements, but a little different.  Monster Squad isn't perfect but good enough to hold my attention. The number one thing that stands out in this film to me is how great the monsters look, they are almost more well done than the original Universal Monsters themselves, given they've had 70 plus years to perfect the makeup. I'm not going to pick apart a horror-comedy too much because it is what it is and this totally kept me entertained. After this film Dekker went on to make Robocop 3 and then disappeared in embarrassment, can we blame him? No. but get back to what you know, man!

#14 Hellraiser: Deader (2005) 

Did you know they made a 7th Hellraiser movie? Nope! Me either. Did you know it stars Kari Wuhrer, yes that MTV VJ check from Remote Control!!! The story here is: "A journalist uncovers an underground group who can bring back the dead and slowly becomes drawn into their world." The film wasn't all bad but it wasn't much good either. The first drawback was the general feel of the film, it just did not feel like a Hellraiser film. Where's the dingy grime of 80's VHS? Pinhead doesn't show up for quite awhile and the Cinobites have little to nothing to do with this. That being said there were a few gnarly scenes, the highlight being when Amy Klein(Wuhrer) wakes up with a knife stuck through her. She has to maneuver a way to pull the knife out herself and then make her way out into the town with a full knife wound THROUGH her! So great! Another scene in this that confused me but I also enjoyed were the scenes on the train where there seems to be some sort of death rave going on and then everyone turns up dead. Pretty interesting concept but also seems to fall a little flat at the end. I have to admit it did leave me wondering how they pulled that off and didn't get kicked off the train. But I've never been to Romania and don't know how their transit works over there. :) In the final scene there is one of the more gruesome human splatter scenes out of ANY Hellraiser, so it does get a couple points in my book for that. It always bugged me not seeing the folks actually pulled apart by the chains in the culmination of Pinhead's visits in these films. Bravo there! However, as can be expected with the 7th? installment of the film, the ending leaves a bit to be desired. I mean, anyone who has seen a Hellraiser film knows that Pinhead will eventually get shoved back into the puzzlebox but he didn't really put up too much of a fight here and ultimately left me feeling unsatisfied. In my opinion just go back and watch Hellraiser II and II and then maybe Hellbound if you want more. If you wanna see Kari Wuhrer's tatas just open up a PlayBoy from the 90's. PEACE!

#15 Sleepaway Camp(1983)

Weiners, short shorts, awkward pedophiles, righteous killings. Those just about sum up the first Sleepaway Camp movie. Not my first visit to Camp Arawak but some friends have a Bad movie Night at their house a couple of times a year and I wasn't about to miss out on this! We had tons of camp food and everyone wore their pajamas, it was a splendid time. One word of warning, if you watch Sleepaway Camp on an HD TV, it looks like it was filmed with your terrible Nokia cellphone. They didnt take that shit into consideration back in 1983. That's cool! It added some extra elements that made the movie extra funny.
If you arent familiar with this film, the story is about Angela Baker whose family was involved in a a boating accident and therefore is pretty quiet and also afraid of most people. She goes to camp with her cousin and somehow finds a camp completely full of assholes, its amazing, really. Then killings start happening. To be honest, every single person deserves it. It's pretty obvious that everyone dying is in some way pushing Angela to her edge but no one really seems to pit the murders on "her" until the final scene.
Some highlights include Angela's kooky aunt that has to be the worst actress I have seen in a loooong time, her over exaggerated movements and frightening soliloquies prove that she's that kind of person that would send a pre-teen with PTSD to a creepy camp. Othee highlights are the campers themselves, a perfect representation of dumb as teenagers in the 80's and their horrific outfits, one girl's endless camel toe, another dudes "right outta the Village People" attire, i think the bodybuilder of a camp counselor was wearing panty hose, I don't know what the hell was going on in the early 80's. Shit was weird.
Great classic horror flick with one of the all-time greatest WTF endings. If you haven't seen this, watch it and grab the sequels too. They have a handsome box-set that I had years ago, well worth the price!